Monday, August 07, 2006

Having had a lovely quiet weekend, where my lungs were well behaved, and more surprisingly perhaps so was I, I woke up this morning looking forward to gearing up for a week of improvements. I felt a little tight chested so after struggling to move around perched precariously on the arm of a chair (where else when you are surrounded by beds chairs and pillows) to do a nebuliser. As I was doing so I cleared my throat and felt a ping and that same old flood of pain and pressure. Instinct took over, as did fear of a repeat of two weeks ago, and I ran and pulled the emergency chord and then out into the corridor (although not very far as O2 tubing causes comical dog on leash movement at all times). Credit to them every single doctor and nurse came flying. I was struggling quite a bit by this point but was aware that it wasn’t getting any worse, so immediately started apologising to everyone (in between trying to breathe) for pulling the emergency chord which is really a cardiac arrest button and clearly my heart was still beating as I could feel it reverberating all the way from my eardrums to my toes.

So here’s where we stand now. It was another collapse, as I felt the “ping” so that brings me to a grand total of 4 pneumos in just over 2 weeks. Now the good news is, this was unbelievably painful. I know that may not at first sound like good news, but the reason it was so painful is because the air was pushing on the lung trying to force it to collapse, but instead of collapsing with good grace, it is sticking nicely to the lining therefore refused to budge very far at all. That conflict of interest is what caused the pain, so is an excellent sign as we want that lung to stick to prevent huge great ER type dramas as exhibited previously.

The somewhat more disheartening news is that this is a step in the wrong direction. I was put back on suction straight away, will remain so at present, and so am back to being tied to the bed. This was also a major blow to my morale, as it puts an immediate halt on leaving the hospital (at all) until this is resolved, as it is just not safe. I would be lying if I said I have managed to be positive all day.

I had a CT scan, which revealed a large patch of air in front of the lung. The drain is sitting nicely in its own little spot behind the lung. This means it is not being particularly efficient at clearing said new airspace, and so we will be in talks tomorrow with the surgeons about putting in a new drain. This new drain experience will be bittersweet, good because it will be under controlled conditions not a hasty life-saving manoeuvre, but because I am stable, I will be far more aware of it, and it isn’t the most pleasant of things. But still, surely better to have unpleasantness than to be critical, so stop your whinging Em. Plus Lu is staying the night tonight, and we have had a muchos fun night, who says hospitals are no place to have a sleepover!

Ironically, the thing that has cheered me up most and kicked me back into fighting spirit is the following episode. Things have been very stable this evening but obviously the doctors have hammered home to me the importance of reporting any change, even if I think I am being silly. I was sitting up and began to notice a slight pain as I breathed in, and a small but pretty insignificant increase in pressure. Remembering to be adult and forward thinking, I bleeped the nurse, and reported this, congratulating myself in my professional and cautious manner on doing so. About 20 mins later, feeling was still there, so I decided to move off the bed to see if a change of position altered it. In order to do so I leant over to move my bedside table, only to discover I may or may not have positioned it directly onto my suction tube. Since removing large and heavy object from delicate tubing I have noticed a significant improvement, so whilst I am not a doctor, my medical instinct tells me this could perhaps have caused that change in pressure. Who can be sure…


Anonymous said...

Awww sweetie I am just home from a Pub Quiz and reading this,I'm absolutely gutted for you:(

As if you haven't had enough to put up with over the past couple of weeks,but please don't let it get you down too much.These things are sent to try us,and you are going to damn well show those lungs who's boss!!!

I know it will be hard for you staying in hospital for the time being,but I will start up Pink Alert again,but this time I will find the most expensive,pinkest things I can.The only catch is someone else has to buy you them,so that you don't go bankrupt.That will keep you from getting too bored.

Ahh I have to go now as Bailey is lying next to me and there's a really dodgy smell of eggs coming from his direction,eurgh.

Head up young person and muchly

Anonymous said...

hello em. sorry to hear the pink bags are not behaving it is not the way we want it so please give them a kick. I have spent the day fitting a new set of garage doors wish I could fit you a new set of lungs. Keep hanging in em we think of you daily us colonials here in canada. Love you Brian and Aunty Wendy

Anonymous said...

Awe Em, I'm sorry to hear that :( But you are as positive as ever, and still looking forward, so I have no doubt that those lungs will behave themselves again very soon. I hope you're feeling ok today and enjoyed your sleepover! Hopefully the drain fitting experience won't be too unpleasant...lots of love and hugs :) xxx

Sasha said...

Oh bottoms. But you still managed to make me laugh!
Sending lots of inflatey vibes across the continents....I was going to write which ocean it is, but I have absolutely no idea which seas separate Singapore and UK! Call myself a teacher?!!!
Lots of love sweetiebobble

Anonymous said...

Em! You need to have a word with those lungs, they really have been messing you around lately, and its not on.

Sending you as many pink viibes as the airwaves can hold.

Its a really pain to be stuck in hospital any longer, but you dont need me to tell you to keep your chin up. You're a real fighter, so four boring walls cant keep your spirit down.

Big hugs, chuckles and love. xxxxx

Anonymous said...

Enjoy your sleepover, and sending your lungs many an inflatey thought. x

Sarah Milne said...

I'm going to repeat what I said on the boards - I also wonder if your Mum reads this too as it is kind of a tribute to her and all your family too. Keep smiling. You are such an inspiration! It is becoming increasingly clear that Wills will have a huge fight on his hands in many ways and I only hope we can help him to grow up with the spirit you have. If I manage that, I will have succeeded in parenting him (along side giving him and his sisters a fantastic time and making every second count!). I so hope you get that call soon beacuse no-one could possibly deserve it more!
lots of love, as always to you, Adam and all the family
Sarah xxx (have clearly added bit more waffle than the message board version!)

Simba said...

Oh no :( Am giving your lungs my best toddler grumpy face (which I am v good at after many years' practice). C'mon teeny tiny pink 'uns inflate nicely for me...pleeeeeeeease. Otherwise I'll have a big tantrum and you don't want that now, do you. OK!

Emmie said...

Oh sweetie pie, things just aren't playing ball at the moment are they? I have to admit to being very impressed by you giving the "emergency chord" a shot even in the middle of a that the one in C Major or the one in E minor?

Don't forget I'm always at the end of the phoneline if you need someone, any time of the day or night (though at 4am you may get more of a groan than a wise response to anything important...)

Remember to take care of Emily at all times because you are incredibly special.

Emma xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Anonymous said...

Inflatey and fluffy pink thoughts for your lungs and your spirits (by which I mean your determination, not your stash of G&T!).

Best always,

~ James

Anonymous said...

Em hun. I will buy a calling card and call you. If tha is ok with you. I'll even call the hospital. I just have this huge urge to talk to you. I know my health would never let me come over to the UK.. SO the least I can do is call. email me a number please...


Anonymous said...

i forgot to post my email

*crosses eyes*

Anonymous said...

Emily hope your card from us has manged to reach you in hospital?

Sory to hear you had slight setback although at least not quite as dramatic as other times!!!

Girls making most of their summer time etc before back to studying hard for A & A/s levels @6th form.

Take care and please say hi to all your family and Emma too :D

Elaine Rach & family?

Anonymous said...

You are, and will continue to be. Not long now. Keep going. Trust. MD

Music_Mad_Nic said...

aww Em, just not going to plan is it, but then agian things never do do they?
well done on pulling that chord *cheers*
i think with your knowledge about not putting heaving things ontop of tubes could get you through a nursing degree ... lol

chin up and keep thinking pluffy pink thoughts

nic xx

Unknown said...


Glad you are slowly getting better. I hope you will get your new lungs soon. I know you will be one of the lucky ones.

All the best

Anonymous said...

Run with fear of things that have happened and things to come.
You fear coming home. As your heart skips a beat. You run faster then you ever have before. Fear consumes you. You stop... But you haven't stopped breathing. You step up to fear and find u can overcome it. With fear gone strength back you see it your past, present, and future. Fear is nothing but your worst thoughts. Nothing that braver can't overcome!!!

Wishing you a really speedy recovery Hunni. Yell those lungs of urs to start behaving or shez will get cross with them lol.

Lots of love and hugs xxxx

Anonymous said...

Hey Em,
Laura reporting from stoupa sending muchly happy positive thoughts and of course malibu! sorry to hear you havent been so great lately but glad to hear your still the gd old Emi T!!! YAY! hope u had lots of fun at ur sleepover too.

Everyone here sends their love. lots of wishes and crossed fingers heading ur way.

Havent spoken to you in a while so havent been able to tell u about my nite out in a pink limo just like urs for ur bday! they are so much more fun than the normal ones! although i thought id be dressed to match all in pink or as a fairy but no, pirates seemed the favourite choice! pirates in a pink limo work that one out if you can!

anyway i wont bore u any further. all i will say is keep your head up remember everyones rooting for u. Love u lots xxx

P.S. Remember...Reach for the stars and if you miss you're amongst the stars! Keep goin girly! xxx

Anonymous said...

Slight correction needed i think the malibu got me!

Reach for the moon and if you miss you're amongst the stars.


Anonymous said...

I'm Nick, and George is my 7 year-old son. We've just been reading some of your blogs and we think you're wonderful.

Loved the bedside table incident - really made us chuckle.

We're thinking of you and pray that you're well enough to do the 5km.

Anonymous said...

Hope things have improved since Monday and that you had a good might with Lucy! The tube story made us laugh.... You may regret admitting to a likimg for pink.
Love Kate & Alice