I am having a rather fearful day today. One of those days when all my hidden fears seem to surface and pummel me all in one go. I think it has been triggered by finding out a few things recently, namely hearing about someone who recently passed away post transplant, someone who recently passed away pre transplant, and that the transplant rate at harefield is still slow.
All of these factors have pushed me into one of those panics, where I feel like I am on a rolercoaster hurtling towards oblivion, and all I really want to do is stop the ride and get off. But that isn't an option, you have to ride it out, whatever the outcome. And of course I don't just want to stop, I have so much going on, I think it is just my ostrich reaction which surfaces periodically, and I am sure it will be gone by the end of the day. Of course I am cross with myself for feeling this way, as what I should be doing is keeping the families who have lost loved ones recently in my thoughts, and reminding myself that I am SO lucky to have got this far...and to still have that chance. Where there is a chance, there is hope. And the odds that I will get called tonight are as high as any other possibility. (Check me out, talking myself out of a fearful emotional moment which has sent me back to bed at 12.30pm - shocking).
Other than my emotions going a bit doolally (great word) this morning, the week has been ok; T-shirts are now progressing nicely, and we are SO nearly there!! On Thursday, 2000 Ts arrived in liverpool, and with press releases being written and the website pretty much complete...we are so nearly there! I cant believe this campaign is actually going to happen, I think when I first see someone out and about in one of my T-shirts I will cry! Incidentally the website address is www.livelifethengivelife.co.uk or www.idgiveyouone.co.uk (whichever is more memorable!) so PLEASE check it out. Oh and tell absolutely everyone you have ever met about it. Thanking you muchly!!
5 days ago