Monday, November 19, 2007

I went shopping in Wimbledon today. Arriving at the Station I suddenly found myself swept back in my memory to when I used to come here to get the tube to the Brompton. I headed towards the stairs, remembering how daunting and foreboding they would appear and how I would haul myself up holding tightly onto the rail and stopping a few times on the way up to catch my breath.

As I got closer to the stairs I made the executive decision that my first time going up them in many many years should be a memorable one, for myself and for any poor commuters in my path, so I bounded up them as fast as I could, stopping at the top rather breathless but in a good way; the way that healthy normal people feel on any stair-bounding exertion.

I met Gaz’s mum in Wimbledon, for a spot of shopping and a generally good natter. We shopped and shopped, and chatted and chatted, and ate in between, and had a generally lovely day, although it appears we both need to examine the definition of Christmas shopping which may or may not have resulted in more purchases for ourselves than it did for other people. I miss Gaz to pieces still, even nearly 3 years down the line, but it is so nice to have developed this friendship through him…mind you I know he would have been rolling his eyes at the majority of the goings on during the day.

There has been a topic on the CF forums about sympathy, and most people have posted on it stating how much they hate it and find it patronising. I am a bit torn on this one. On one hand I have certainly experienced that look (and actual statement) of “oh you poor thing” staring down at me, head cocked gently to one side in sympathy. Yes it can be annoying but more than often I found it amusing, plus I think that some of the comments were a bit too angry on the boards. I mean, just put yourself in that person’s place; how are they supposed to know how to react? A friend’s mum was diagnosed with cancer quite a while back, I was rubbish. I didn’t know what to say except for “I’m so sorry”. That good old cliché. If when surrounded by death and illness as much as I have been you still can’t find the right words I think Joe Bloggs in the street should be given a bit of a break.

Mind you if it’s anything like the experience Jac talked about in her stability post, you have the right to be a tad annoyed...


Anonymous said...

I agree with you, Em. People do get very stuck with what to say and I too prefer to find humour in it.
I've said it before, but a grown woman who knew I had CF hadn't seen me for ages and when she saw me, she said 'Aren't you dead yet?'. Now there's not knowing what to say and not knowing when to just keep your lip buttoned :-)

Audrey xx

Anonymous said...

with sympathy if you talk about how hard life is with cf or how tough it has been, then you will get sympathy its a natural reaction.
That is why some people will feel more comfortable with openly talking than others.
Some people can handle it and do not find it patronising, and other people do.

Anonymous said...

Much as I hate to question the truth of your blog Emily I am a bit skeptical about the phrase 'we chatted and chatted' hehehe Gaz's must be quite a woman to manage to get a word in edge-ways!!!

Aside from that it sounds like you had a great time, I must say I have taken to avoiding the tubes if I can and getting the bus even if it does take twice as long I just can't face the stairs alot of the time!

Toria x

Anonymous said...

EDIT- Gaz'Mum

Serves me right for being cheeky and trying to be funny lol!