Wednesday, January 03, 2007

New Year’s Eve crept up on me a bit this year, I think perhaps because it didn’t take so much organisation and preparation, we were staying local, the party was to be held at my parents house meaning I could take super-turbo Claire and have high flow O2 all night if needs be, and lie down whenever needed, so no need to order loads of cylinders or anything like that.

The evening was brilliant, the drink flowed, food was plentiful, good music blaring and everyone was chatting merrily. Before I knew it, it was 11.55, and being nearest the TV I was handed the remote and told to turn up the volume just before midnight so we could hear Big Ben chime. I watched as a large digital timer counted down the final few minutes, and suddenly I felt heart begin to pound harder as I started (for some completely inexplicable reason) to panic. I think it was the very image of time passing in such a dramatic fashion, the countdown appearing to me to signify not “4 minutes till the new year” but more “4 minutes till the death of all that you know, that you have survived and is therefore safe” in melodramatic and tragic manner. Fighting the urge to throw myself Kamikaze-style at the TV and knock it over thus destroying this strange time-bomb sensation, the tears began to emerge. As quick as a flash A was sitting next to me holding my hand, and despite the terror continuing to flutter inside me I knew how stupid and farcical the whole thing was and sat smiling through my tears like a slightly mad old woman who sits in the corner stroking a stuffed cat. Even as Big Ben began to chime, the fear began to loosen its grip a little on my stomach, and I shook myself and joined in the pile of human hugs which was mounding in the middle of the room.

Five minutes of madness in a New Year’s Eve is not bad, and the rest of the evening was just fantastic. My lungs actually appeared to improve as the night went on, and come 3am I was still up with my sisters and their friends dancing in my own special way (which involves predominantly standing very still and swaying slightly to the music whilst mouthing the words and concentrating on slow breathing – it does not look as great as the skill required to master it).

Emmie and I got all enthusiastic on the 2nd and decided to have a business meeting which true to form involved blankets, pillows, sleeping and pizza. After my lungs had had a slight whinge which rendered me unable to do anything except breathe for a good hour or so, we ran through the various ideas, issues and notes we have floating around. Said meeting has geared us up for muchly campaigning and we are ready to throw ourselves with all our might. 2007 - bring it on!


Anonymous said...

Pizza and sleep! Good times!

*wonders what the english have on their pizzas*

Emmie said...

That countdown to midnight had me in tears too on your behalf. You did brilliantly all evening though and your slow wiggle dancing seriously rocks!
Where are the photos though of you in those gorgeous shoes looking glam? xxxxx

Anonymous said...

Hey Em, Glad you had a great new year... Sounds like fun, Thats about all I can handle to dance and I agree it doesnt look to clever really..
Weldone to you both for already planning your campaign for this year! Thanks Girls!

xx Sandy xx

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year sweetie! Now back to work..! I trust pink truffles were consumed during the business meeting?!

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year Emily,
poor sweetheart, I can really understand that awful feeling of fear and dread - it is truly terrifying. Probably having a good cry helped, it does calm us down lots. And true to form, back you bounced shortly afterwards to plan your year's events. Good for you. Have a truly great year.
warm regards, Janet

Jac said...

Happy new year Em!
I can appreciate the mixed feeling over a new year beginning. There is something rather scary about the year ahead being an unknown entity, and also the realisation that you cannot control the passage of time..which seems to move so quickly. I hope you can look at the new year with positive thoughts..this will be your year and by next new years eve you can be dancing proper diva style, without O2! What a thought :-)

Love and higs
Jac xxxx

Fi said...

Ah Em, I liked the image of the mad lady in the corner; and the wiggle dance. I too hope that next year you'll be up and jumping around with the bells. I think 2007 may well be your best year yet :)

Anonymous said...

Dearest Emily we are praying for you with love C's in laws

Anonymous said...

OMG Sweetheart, I've just heard you are having your tx right now, and I wanted to say that I'm thinking of you and sending out the most strongest positive vibes ever ever ever. It's about bloody time!

Lots of love,

Anonymous said...

I just got the news on my phone Emily that you are in theatre as I type this. OMG! I was shaking and crying when I heard this. I am praying so hard that all goes well, you so much deserve this. Youre such a special person to a lot of people hon. Lots of love Sweetpea x x x x

Anonymous said...

Sending all of our love to you too tonight Emily as you go through your TX. No one deserves this more than you.

I will be pacing around the house tonight, as will a lot of us I expect!

Thinking too, of those special people out there who have made this possible for you.

Lucy is looking forward to you being able to run around after her - transplantation is an amazing thing and so worthwhile.

Anonymous said...

ive just heard the news from little lizzie that you are in for TRANSPLANT, right now. as i started to type this i saw there were no other comments so i thought maybe your family were keeping it quiet at this stage but then I came back just to check and tehre were already (in two minutes!) four new comments....

good luck good luck, you'll do us all proud I'm sure. sending all my love from scotland. thank you again for all your beautiful writing. and your amazing campaigning. you have already achieved so much more in your life than most of us can ever hope to's to many years more to do so!

all my love, Helen

Lizzie said...

Good Luck Emily - i'm leaving messages everywhere of luck to you!!! Thinking of you soo much!!!
Lizzie xxxx

Anonymous said...

Wow - we all told you this would be your year, but even I didn't expect the call to come within 4 days!

Emmie is being an absolute star (as always) and keeping as many of us as possible updated tonight, but we're looking forward to hearing about it from you in your own inimitable style very very soon.

Much love xxx

Anonymous said...

em!!! just heard the news, so so happy that the call you deserved so much finally came. will be thinking of you all night long, with fingers, toes and all other body parts crossed like never before!

i can't quite believe it. loads of love and luck and strong thoughts rachel xxxx

Simba said...

Wow! Just heard the news. Oh My God. It's so surreal. Madness. I can't imagine what you felt like going into theatre. Ooh I'm all tingly. Excited. Surprised. Pleased. Smiley. Looking forward to hearing all about it...I expect you'll be up and about blogging tomorrow, eh?! Thinking of you xxxx

Anonymous said...

Just want to say what fantastic news this is, although I don't know you I feel I do! I work with your good friend Caroline Randall and have heard so much about you and have been waiting anxiously to hear you had a transplant date. So excited for you when Caroline told us the news on Monday. Wishing you all the best wishes for your new life ahead with those lovely new lungs, and wish you everything you wish for yourself.
Love from Jackie