A small break in the story here to return to my usual rambling as I need an outlet tonight. Lisa, a friend of mine waiting for transplant is having a very rough time. She has a nasty infection and is currently on a ventilator (she was the other CF girl on Watchdog).
The frustration is unbearable. I am so lucky, I have had my life saved by that gift of life and now face a possible future full of quality and experience, possibilities and opportunities and yet 50% people who are in exactly the same position as I was will never ever get this chance. I campaign as hard as I can but I can’t reach everyone and tell them all what a miracle organ donation is. She deserves this transplant, everyone waiting deserves it, it just doesn’t make sense. Tonight I am writing to two very wonderful women, both mothers of people with CF who never got the chance of a transplant and yet still sent me wonderful messages of support and congratulations when I received mine. Some people in this world are so big and so full of dignity and courage it makes me feel very small indeed.
When thinking of friends waiting, or friends I have lost who never got the chance, the self-centred part of me is filled with a quietly despairing “why did I get the chance and not them” which is silly as there is no rhyme or reason, just chance and luck and then we must make the most of what we are handed. I almost feel guilty.
All I can do I think is make sure I appreciate the hand I have been dealt and take every opportunity offered. I have been given a truly wonderful gift, and I am determined to make every minute count, for me, for my family, for all those waiting, those who have lost their battle and most importantly, for my donor. Please keep Lisa and all those waiting in your thoughts tonight. Thank you.
www.livelifethengivelife.co.uk
www.uktransplant.org
Reflections
4 months ago
13 comments:
Dear Em, you can never be small. Even at your darkest moments you were still were able radiate such sparkle. The rest of the world is small compared to you. You humble us all.
Lots of Love
We really hope that Lisa and many many others' get an opportunity of 'gift of life' too...... In our thoughts and prayers for them and many others' too...... We are doing as much as we can to promote plight of needing more organ donations etc 'spreading the word'.
You and others like Lisa and your friends are such an inspiration to us all and want to support you, Emma and others' in your livelifegivelife campaign.....
Also special thoughts to those who so sadly lost their battle for life too. & their family and friends...........
(((HUGZ))) & Best wishes Elaine & Rach & family xx
My thoughts are with Lisa and her family tonight. I hope she beats this infection and receives that call soon.
Love always xxx
thinking and praying for Lisa and her family tonight, and those others still on the list.
Emily, I know you say you cant reach everyone, but your story of transplant, campaigning etc has MADE people sign the register and inspired others as well. You and Emma are an inspiration me and my family, we will hold you forver in our thoughts.
Take care
Sarah + Peter (2 years now on list)
I admire the courage of you all who wait, and the determination of those who campaign. My prayers are for Lisa tonight Mary Anne
I will make sure that my daughters, Emily (aged 22!) and Katie (aged 25) have signed their donor cards.
That is our Easter gift to you and all the others, brave girl.
Allison, Toronto
Em, you make the rest of us feel small. Your strength, courage, spirit and sheer determination puts us all to shame. Fate dealt you that new pair of puffers because you are THE best person for this job - telling the world what it means to receive the ultimate gift and to continue the campaign in order that as many of your friends may receive the same gift of renewed life.
I'm thinking of Lisa this morning. I'm thinking of Emmie and everybody on the list. And I'm thinking of those people each of you have lost through a lack of available organs.
You are doing the most amazing job, and nobody could ever resent the fact that you have got those amazing new sparkly lungs. We're all behind you and we're all continuing the campaign in our own lives.
Keep up the good work.
Noodles x
Dearest Emily, this is a very beautiful message. Believe me, you are anything but self centered. It is so generous of you to be concerned for all those who have not been as lucky as you but do not let these feelings of guilt or whatever undermine your own still fragile health. I am sure all of us are keeping Lisa, Emmie, Peter and all those in a similar position, very much in our thoughts and prayers. Look after yourself. You have been through a very very rough time and deserve your new found health.
Happy Easter to everyone.
Janet
What lovely things to say Emily. It is very difficult knowing so many people need organs to save their lives, and those of us that have had that chance really have to make the best of our second chance.
I feel as though I know Lisa quite well, and was most upset when you posted how ill she is again. I will keep her, and Chris is my prayers.
Also thinking of anyone else in the position of needing a transplant to save their life.
Pauline
Em,
How i wish i had a magic wand. I will be praying for your friend Lisa, i hope she receives the call.
Never feel guilty for being one of the lucky ones it was obviously meant to be. You are so very strong lady, and i for one feel very humble and priviledged to know you.
Love and support
Karen.
XX our angel LewisXX
XX 5/8/01 - 6/4/04 XX
Emily, You may feel a bit guilty about 'you getting yours and her not', but you of all people know what the journey of transplant can do to your head. When your waiting, your almost wishing other people wouldnt have theirs, and at times like now, where your friends are still waiting, youd do anything to get them the organs.
We all hope and pray that everyone gets their call soon- Lots of Love
Fingers so crossed for Lisa and for everyone waiting for new organs. I personally think that anyone who doesn't have a donor card should stop and think for just one minute... and imagine that they are waiting for an organ, or that the most special person in their lives, the person they love most in the whole wide world is waiting for an organ... what would they do then ? Would they understand why so few people sign the organ donor list ? Would they understand why so few families accept to donate loved ones organs after losing them ? Would they take the time to sign the organ donor list ? Would they accept the gift of life from an utter stranger ?
Good Luck Emily, and everyone waiting...
Beth (who's brother, Justin, died while waiting for a lung transplant).
Anyone who would be prepared to accept an organ donation should be prepared to offer one. I think that covers about 99% of the population. Keep spreading your message Emily
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