A small break in the story here to return to my usual rambling as I need an outlet tonight. Lisa, a friend of mine waiting for transplant is having a very rough time. She has a nasty infection and is currently on a ventilator (she was the other CF girl on Watchdog).
The frustration is unbearable. I am so lucky, I have had my life saved by that gift of life and now face a possible future full of quality and experience, possibilities and opportunities and yet 50% people who are in exactly the same position as I was will never ever get this chance. I campaign as hard as I can but I can’t reach everyone and tell them all what a miracle organ donation is. She deserves this transplant, everyone waiting deserves it, it just doesn’t make sense. Tonight I am writing to two very wonderful women, both mothers of people with CF who never got the chance of a transplant and yet still sent me wonderful messages of support and congratulations when I received mine. Some people in this world are so big and so full of dignity and courage it makes me feel very small indeed.
When thinking of friends waiting, or friends I have lost who never got the chance, the self-centred part of me is filled with a quietly despairing “why did I get the chance and not them” which is silly as there is no rhyme or reason, just chance and luck and then we must make the most of what we are handed. I almost feel guilty.
All I can do I think is make sure I appreciate the hand I have been dealt and take every opportunity offered. I have been given a truly wonderful gift, and I am determined to make every minute count, for me, for my family, for all those waiting, those who have lost their battle and most importantly, for my donor. Please keep Lisa and all those waiting in your thoughts tonight. Thank you.