Monday, July 07, 2008

Firstly massive apologies for not updating on the blood test thing - Kidneys are doing ok, the 2nd blood test showed a slight improvement so they are not too worried, although I will be returning to good ol' Harefield probably on Thursday.

It has been a tough week as I have had to realise a few things.

* Recovery from the actual Transplant is not the end. There's a myriad of other little elements which still need TLC along the way which will spring up when you least expect them.

* Working full time is a bit too much right now.

It’s been very hard for me to accept both of those points and therefore I have made the last week a little tougher for myself than it probably needed to be. I’m not very good at giving in or being defeated, I’m not very good at letting people down, and even though if I stopped and looked at it with an outsiders perspective the only person I am a) giving in to and b) letting down is myself, it’s still very hard.

Still the upside is my lungs are rather fabulous. Whilst I remember, massive congratulations to my middling sister Lucy who recently learned that she is a 1st Class Honours student and will shortly be heading into the world of journalism if her talent is anything to go by.

And how could I finish my blog without a plug for my very own project...some of you may remember a show I produced in 2004 entitled Cabaret Favourites. I loved it (always happiest when immersed in music and drama) but felt a little sad watching as really I wanted to be up there myself. I participated in the final number (by waving my arms around vigorously) but as the lights went to blackout I remember bending over, hands on knees, gasping and trying to regain my breath.

This year I will be debuting my new lungs as my sister has convinced me to get up there and sing a duet with her. I am totally over excited but incredibly nervous. Plus of course there’s a whole host of extremely talented young performers ready to sing their hearts out and create a musical spectacular in aid of Live Life Then Give Life. Want to see it? Come along: 23rd July at 7.30pm, email emily (at) for more info and/or to book tickets. YAY!


Anonymous said...

The word defeated has no place on this blog.

You are, and continue to be, an inspiration.

suzie said...

I think the hardest thing for us to accept is that there are things that we just can’t manage Em, or rather, things we can just about struggle to manage but which leave us frazzled and frustrated. At times like that I try to simplify my life, whether it be working fewer hours, making sure I get some downtime or investing more time into my loved one’s, I think of it as reorganisation (is that a proper word), a positive move that relieves pressure and enables me to recover my life. That’s why I’m leaving the next few days on the calendar blank ;-)

Glad to hear the kidney’s are improving and wishing you the best of luck with the cabaret, you’ll be brill on the night, just wish I lived nearer.

I also totally agree with laputain, defeated has no place here.

Big (((HUGS)))

Anonymous said...

Sounds so familiar!!Just need to TRY and pace yourself know not easy but learnt that by doing too much is like 3 steps forward and 2 back at times..You are such an inspiration to so many and does take time to juggle and give yourself time to adapt still with your transplant and surrounding issues too..;)

take care always lovely to read your blogs :D hugz Elaine & Rach xx

good luck with your cabaret :D

Anonymous said...

Non-transplantey people in perfectly good health struggle with these finding-the-right-balance-in-life issues too. The bottom line is you need to do whatever you need to do to keep your batteries charged so that you're able to go out there and do your stuff. Take care of yourself and the rest will follow. Energy is good but serenity is good too.

Sue G xxx

Anonymous said...

Both your points ring so true!

The best piece of advice I got was from one of the transplant nurses who told me to “expect a rollercoaster ride, particularly in my first year.” There were lots of ups and downs, especially at first, and most of these could not be predicted individually. All the transplantees I’ve met have had problems of one sort or another, but they’ve all been very different problems. So knowing to expect some ups and downs is important – it helps cope with them when they inevitably happen. In my case, thankfully, they have not stopped me having a fantastic quality of life.

The second point is also true. I started back at work part-time, and then ended up going freelance around a year ago so that I could have a little more control over my life. Medical appointments, transplant charity work, and coping with the side-effects of the meds all take up lots of time, and while it is tempting to try to live a normal life and work full-time, I'm not sure it's possible to do that and leave time for yourself too. You and your family have got to enjoy your new-found health, so do ensure that you put yourself first and give yourself that space. I hope I don't sound too preachy, but what you said just chimes so much with how I felt!

I'm glad that in general everything continues to go well for you!

Gill Hollis, Edinburgh

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