So I am now almost three months into my new job. 3 months! I can’t believe how quickly the time has flown...
I am still loving it there, there is so much to learn and it is quite fast-paced but that’s what I love I think, the new challenge and the opportunity to learn again and try and develop new skills.
Last week I finally agreed to start working 1 day a week from home. It was mentioned from the minute I joined, but I was determined to do a full week onsite, just like anyone else does. I wanted to do this for the first three months as in my head this was the time I really have to prove that I am worth employing (well I have to do that all the time but you know what I mean).
With recent things such as the arthritis diagnosis (thank you so much for everyone who has got in touch and/or posted info about this; it’s so helpful just to know other people have experienced it and are doing fine with it. I am fine too atm, so feeling good about the whole thing and the fact it shouldn’t interfere with day to day too much) it has started to make more sense to at least be set up for the option of homeworking, so if I can’t get into the office for whatever reason, it does not stop me from doing my job. And of course should the flu season/a stomach bug hit then I shouldn’t be on the train/in the office anyway….
So yes there are a million good reasons for me to be set up as a homeworker in case, and if I am I might as well do one day a week at home just to give myself back those few hours spent travelling. So why do I feel like a failure?
It is most definitely all in my head. My team are fantastic and have reminded me you don’t work any less hard when working from home! And of course it’s only one day a week. But I just feel…I don’t know, like I should be there, present in the office, every day for the full week.
As long-time readers of my blog will know, I am not particularly good at caving when I think something is a sign of me relenting to my health. I think this becomes even harder in a way post-transplant, as I am so much better than I was, I feel anything should be achievable. Mind you it’s not to say I couldn’t do a full commuting week, it’s just is 1 day less the better option for me? It probably is.
I’ve always been terrible at the thought of missing out on things too. I used to hate going in to hospital when I was at school, predominantly at the thought of life carrying on behind my back when I wasn’t there. Perhaps this is reminiscent of that…?
I am fully aware this blog makes no sense. I think I just needed to get it out of my system so I can move forward and accept the fact it’s not because I’m different or weaker than anyone else, it’s merely that that will suit my personal circumstances better and enable me to stay well and fulfil my role. Now I just need to believe that...
First BBQ of the year for my family yesterday! You aren’t supposed to have barbecued food post transplant so I always take mine off of the BBQ and head straight to the kitchen to nuke it in the microwave until it is rather small and sizzling. It means I get to enjoy the BBQ taste like everyone else but just in the safest way possible. I am totally overexcited about summer this year as let’s face it, last years was a bit of a no-show. And now it’s beginning to show, I am starting to get excited about my longest holiday since 2003 (2 weeks baby!!) which will be at the end of July…bring it on!
Oh and final point - LLTGL sent out it's first ever newsletter yesterday! Very exciting (well for me anyway!) If you aren't on our mailer but would like to be, please just contact us through the website (or email me) and we will get you on there. Yay!