What a difference a year makes....
Monday of Half term - February 2007.
I am lying in bed in intensive care. i still have the ventilator attached via a tracheostomy. I cannot eat, cannot talk, cannot move unaided. I am in the middle of a vicious cycle of panic attacks (which will very shortly be greatly relieved by appointments with a psychologist but I do not know that yet). A close friend of mine brings my sister up to the hospital to visit, and they try to calm me down and make me comfortable, mopping my forehead and squeezing my hand. I am finding it very hard at this point to see that I will ever resemble my normal self again, that I will ever even leave the bed unaided let alone walk out of the room.
Monday of Half term - February 2008.
I am striding down the road towards the office, my first full day as a PR Executive. It's icey cold, wind whistling and smacking against my cheeks, I am grinning from ear to ear, teeth chattering in the cold. I can feel the sun on my back and the sky is a vivid blue. I am an independant, fully functioning, walking, talking eating, breathing woman doing everything a woman of my age should and could be able to.
It's good to be alive.
The C Word
4 hours ago