Monday, February 18, 2008

What a difference a year makes....

Monday of Half term - February 2007.

I am lying in bed in intensive care. i still have the ventilator attached via a tracheostomy. I cannot eat, cannot talk, cannot move unaided. I am in the middle of a vicious cycle of panic attacks (which will very shortly be greatly relieved by appointments with a psychologist but I do not know that yet). A close friend of mine brings my sister up to the hospital to visit, and they try to calm me down and make me comfortable, mopping my forehead and squeezing my hand. I am finding it very hard at this point to see that I will ever resemble my normal self again, that I will ever even leave the bed unaided let alone walk out of the room.

Monday of Half term - February 2008.

I am striding down the road towards the office, my first full day as a PR Executive. It's icey cold, wind whistling and smacking against my cheeks, I am grinning from ear to ear, teeth chattering in the cold. I can feel the sun on my back and the sky is a vivid blue. I am an independant, fully functioning, walking, talking eating, breathing woman doing everything a woman of my age should and could be able to.

It's good to be alive.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Have been thinking about you today and wondering how you've got on!! What a powerful piece...and what a difference a year makes...bet you never ever thought that in 12 months time you'd be writing what you have this evening, experiencing what you have today (and all the fantastic things you have since your transplant)...I hope that today was everything you dreamed of and more!! Can't wait to "hear" all about it! Carolynx

Katie H said...

What a fab post to read, what a difference indeed. I hope your first day went well and that they are appreciating the pink glittery star that has just arrived in their midst.

Anonymous said...

I was wondering how you got on today. Sounds fab. Bet you never thought you would be doing that! I wish you all the best and look forward to the cuppa soon and hearing all about it.

Love Lisa x

Anonymous said...

You rock!

Anonymous said...

'go girl' ;)

seize the day :D The worlds your oyster.....

Take care good luck Elaine & Rach xx

Emmie said...

Awwwwww! Sometimes the shortest posts can be the most powerful. Gave me goosebumps that did :o) xxxxx

Anonymous said...

Dammit - I'm in tears, and I'm not even hormonal. Go girl! Xx

Anonymous said...

I did get a scare until I realised we were temporarily back in 2007. An amazing blog....well done for all you have achieved in what must have been a very difficult year.Good luck with the job, they are so lucky to have you!
hugs,
swissfriend

Anonymous said...

je suis de tout coeur avec toi, la famille Sicard de la rochelle pense tres tres fort a toi et t'envoie plein de bisous!!!!!
nico from la rochelle, france

Anonymous said...

Yay!

Anonymous said...

great stuff... all the best in your new job

Anonymous said...

Made me well up too. Such fantastic reading :-)

Audrey xx

suzie said...

Brilliant!

xxx

Anonymous said...

Go girl !!!
Lindy x

Chris said...

That gave me a momentary lump in my throat until I re-read the first line and realised it was a flashback! Its great to have these little reminders of how well you have done in this short amount of time!
Congratulations on the job and hope you're first day went well!

Anonymous said...

Dear Emily
I have noticed that you have no posted a blog for ages!
FANTASTIC!
Not because I don't love reading them but because it means that life is so busy and full for you now you just haven't got the time.
With love
Lindy xxxxxxx