A year ago today...






I cannot believe the most magical and wonderful first year has flown by so fast...I am so lucky.

I knew I did the right thing blogging about my mental block re homeworking; thank you all so much for your comments and emails and so many of you raised points I must admit I didn’t consider (like the trust element). I will most definitely look upon this as a positive progression and am now in a much more sensible mindset about it all. So thank you.

I did another talk on Monday evening, this time to some local Guiders. I really enjoy doing my talks and try to do them as often as possible (I think it’s just word of mouth really, I’ve never really advertised them as such) but of course they tend to be evening ones now I am working (I love saying that, although I did call myself a working girl quite proudly in public the other day then realised it is another name for a prostitute. Oops).

Anyway it went really well. I have a sort of format which I vaguely stick to but I adapt it depending on the amount of people, their background (eg: medical) and how long they want me to witter on for. I love doing those talks as I feel like I am actively doing something to help those waiting, but I do try not to smooth over any of the sad and upsetting bits as I feel people need to understand just why organ donation is such an acutely important topic. A was so fed up of helping me lug broken cardboard boxes around he has provided me with a large black suitcase on wheels for all my bits and bobs; infinitely easier to manoeuvre from talk to talk and so much more professional looking! The next one I am doing is mid June in Kingston, and is actually an open one so do contact me if you want to come along.

This afternoon was sad as I joined hundreds (literally) of other people to say goodbye to Sam. It was a beautiful service, the most heartbreaking bit listening to her group of close friends stand up and sharing through their tears their memories about Sam and what she meant to them. It’s so frustratingly hard watching; it didn’t have to be like this and I think on this side of the looking glass I feel it even more, just how wrong and unnecessary a loss like Sam’s is. I know how different it could have been, and the fact I am lucky enough to still be here...I don’t know I think it just makes it even more nonsensical. I felt so privileged listening to those who knew Sam best telling everyone all about her, and totally inspired by the bravery of her family and friends. I am thinking of them all tonight.

This evening however will be a happy one, as it is a year since A proposed, so we are going out to celebrate the year that has been amazing in every single way. I cannot believe how far we have come both together and as individuals in the space of 12 months. It has been an incredible journey so far and I am absolutely having the time of my life.

We’re baaaack! We had an amazing time, Budapest is breathtakingly beautiful. For those who are as daft as me (probably not many of you, here’s some information about where we went.

I’m a bit of a nervous flyer – I wasn’t always so but when I was about 17 I developed some large cysts in my lungs and there was a danger of them popping (which many years later they did. Repeatedly). I was told at this point going up in an aeroplane may in fact make them pop and cause my lung to collapse, but that hopefully they were stable, and the only way to tell for sure was to fly. So that first flight (as I’d be damned if I was going to not go on holiday ever again due to something that may or may not happen) was a pretty scary one, and I think dented my confidence.

However the flight to Budapest was fine. I have to remember I have healthy lungs now that can cope with high altitude and cabin pressures, and after about the first 20 minutes I stopped saying “are we nearly there yet” with my eyes squeezed shut and began to relax. I even managed to doze, woohoo!

We arrived late afternoon so ditched our bags at the hotel and went straight into the centre. It was nightfall by now, and all the streets were decked in Christmas lights as we walked towards the square where the famous Christmas markets would be. We stopped at the first stall to grab a glass of mulled wine and wandered through the little Christmassy kingdom full of jostling crowds. The stalls were beautiful and so brightly coloured; candles of all different shapes sizes and colours piled high, hand made Christmas decorations of dried fruits and nut shells, painted, glittered and sparkling, scarves of every colour and pattern imaginable, large wooden huts with the most delicious smells coming from them as steaming bowls of soup were served to hungry shoppers.

Made a tad hungry by all the scents of food, we sought out a restaurant and found ourselves climbing down a winding staircase into a dark high-arched tunnel filled with candles to get to a restaurant in an old converted wine cellar. Hungarian food is very good – there’s loads of choice, a key speciality being of course the famous goulash which we had more than once. I may or may not have eaten far too much during our few days there.

We also ensured that we visited the Spas that Budapest is so famous for. The first one was my favourite as they had outdoor baths there, so you’d sit in steaming hot water with the icy wind whistling over your head. It was so surreal and rather magical, especially as dusk fell.

We saw all the main sights, sampled as much food and drink as we could (I even tried the local pear brandy which was pretty good, says she who knows absolutely nothing about what brandy should or should not taste like). I may have bought a few clothes too. Oops.

Whilst there I thought quite a bit about this time last year. A and I always try and get away for a few days around Christmas and over the years our destinations have got increasingly closer to home. In 2006 thanks to the Chloe Janet Ball trust I took A to a luxury hotel in London. It was such a different experience, we were overjoyed that I was merely well enough to “be” in the hotel, and spent pretty much all the time in the room, with me sleeping intermittently, trying constantly to catch my breath with my oxygen machine as high as it would go. It’s fantastic that we appreciated and enjoyed that small but significant break so much, and I think experiencing that end of things made this honeymoon even more special.

I realise I am now beginning to waffle therefore shall close with a few more pics. Enjoy!
Christmas Market

The tunnel to the restaurant.

It's a Hungarian Tram behind me. I got a bit excited.

OK it's not quite finished yet but people have been... "encouraging" me to get a move on!

(if you can't view the below slideshow click here as this might work)

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Potential GMTV appearances tomorrow morning...probably around 6.30ish and 8.30ish.

so look out, those of you up at that ungodly hour!


Edit - I was on at 8.30ish. Clip is actually viewable here - http://www.gm.tv/index.cfm?articleid=24657 - scroll down to find "Emily Thackray". Watching all the old bits of VT of me pre tx was actually quite emotional, particularly the final one which was filmed less than a month before my transplant. I can't believe how fragile I look and how quiet my voice is!

They cut it short sadly which means you don't get to see my lovely sisters have some input! Oh and the surprise was merely my announcement so don't get too excited ;)

OK time for part 2…incidentally look at this to see what life was like this time last year – I still can’t believe the change!

We walked past the front of the hotel and up to the curtains which were concealing the entrance to the main barn. As they opened a fraction for the hotel staff to give the thumbs up I could see A waited expectantly at the end of the room. I heard the announcement “please be upstanding for the bride” and the beautiful cello music started up – a piece composed especially by A for me to walk down the aisle to. As we entered and the cameras started flashing, all I could see was A standing looking so proud. I locked eyes with him and refused to shift my focus. Tears were already welling up and due to the emotion I may have sped down the aisle, causing many jokes afterwards about me wanting to ensure he didn’t make a swift getaway!

We finally reached the end, my daddy kissing me on the cheek and squeezing my arm as he took his seat next to my mum who was already wiping away the tears. A squeezed my hand and the registrar whispered hello followed by “this is a happy occasion!” probably in shock at the amount of tears already filling the room! We sat down as she began the service, and then the first reading “these are the hands” was done, H2B and I tightly holding each others for the duration.

We then stood to make our declarations that we were ok to marry and this was followed by a second reading, this time in French (A's family are Mauritian) by A's sister called “mon amour”. We then made further declarations in which A stumbled over lawful wedded wife, I giggled knowing this was due to our constant jokes that he might accidentally say awful wedded wife! Rings were exchanged and next it was time for our own personal vows. A went first, and tears filled my eyes as he thanked me for fighting so hard for this. In a bit of a wibbly voice I said my vows, talking about how I had never really let myself think of this day and how thrilled I was that we were here at last.

Our third reading followed, and then all that was left to do was to for the pronouncement that we were husband and wife (in which I uttered a small “yay!) followed by “you may now kiss the bride” and a huge gale of cheers and applause. Muchly photos during the posed signing of the register and we walked out triumphant to Signed sealed delivered with people cheering and laughing as the realised what was playing.

By the time I came out of the room I actually felt sick – I think I was just overwhelmed by all the adrenalin and the emotion of the day. Luckily during the photos and mingling for drinks that feeling began to wear off, and as the room was reset for the buffet I eagerly chatted to all our wonderful friends and family who were sharing this day with us.

The buffet was served and everyone took their seats. I was quite proud as I had designed pretty much everything; from the flower arrangements (went to the wholesalers myself) to the favours which were my proudest bit I think. Each person’s name place was a mini ivory envelope with a small iridescent glitter heart I had painted on and their name written on. Inside each envelope was an individual verse or saying about seeds or flowers, every single one different for every single guest. For example, mine was: “The road I walk along is time, it's measured out in hours: And now I need not rush along, I stop to smell the flowers” By Alvin Lee. Also enclosed was a tiny tissue paper parcel of seeds with the following details:

Bellflower seeds. (Campanula) Symbolises – Gratitude.

Without Emily’s donor, today would not be possible, Please plant in your garden to let our love and their legacy bloom on.

Wine flowed, people ate and chatted merrily, did the quizzes (which was to work out the significance of each table name) and then came the speeches. They were all fantastic, although I shall never forgive my daddy for a certain potty story which was relayed to a giggling audience.

We then moved into the bar room as the main barn was reset again for the evening’s festivities. The evening was absolutely fantastic. We had about 180 people there in total and they were all well and truly up for a party! Our first dance was Amazed by Lonestar, followed by a “sega” (traditional Mauritian dance) which really got the party going! Then the first of our live bands – an awesome swing band – came on and got everyone on the dance floor. This was followed by an hour or so of the DJ after which the Mauritian band took the stage and played some more Mauritian party pieces (one of which I had previously done backing vocals too at a gig of A's so I was forced up to the front microphone in hand to assist!) At this point a Mauritian buffet was served which went down extremely well!

All live music over, the DJ played on through the night till at 1am a tired but ecstatically happy wedding party came to a close. The day was just magical - it went so very fast, the ceremony itself like a blur, but I loved every single minute. I don't think either of us have stopped grinning since, and we have a whole mountain of cards to work through so you will hear from us in due time if you sent one...

As with seemingly every step in my life, be it good or bad, people always rally round and want to play a part, and this is so very appreciated. So thank you to everyone both who came and who has been thinking of us from afar on our special day. I cannot believe we made it, but I am now officially Mrs A.

YAY!!

ps - one or two pics to satisfy curiosity but slideshow coming soon!

I am a married lady!!!!!!!

How incredibly grown up is that?! Actually watching my mother I know that you do not in fact need to be grown up when you are married. First of all take a look at this as a reminder of just how much my life has changed, and then here begins the rather long and over emotional story of the weekend of my dreams...

Friday was A's dad’s 60th birthday so we had decided all along to focus on him that day. It was actually a really good thing as it stopped me from doing last minute panicky bits – I disappeared in the afternoon for a doze followed by a gorgeous relaxing manicure but was back in the evening to go to a restaurant with A's family to celebrate.

I left early (A saying gleefully “see you soon nearly wife!!) and my dad drove me to my grandparents house where I had decided to stay as they are always very calm and there’s loads of room there so we could turn it into a hair and make up studio the following day. I decided to head straight to bed, my grandma bringing me a hot chocolate, and fairly shortly after lying down I was sound asleep.

I woke suddenly at 6.30 the next morning but managed to get back to sleep till 7.30. I then lay in bed quietly for a good half hour, thinking about all sorts really with the occasional “I’m getting married today!” thought popping into my head. My grandma made me a huge bowl of porridge (which she is famous for) and I sat calmly drinking my tea. Their neighbours popped round to see me with crazymadbedhair sitting in my dressing gown saying “yep all going well all on schedule”.

Shortly after 10am my mother and 2 sisters arrived and as I predicted the serene calm turned into an over excited manic house full of women. My poor lovely grandpa quickly learned wherever he was he was in the way so quietly sat with his paper pretending not to see or hear anything. The girls hair dresser arrived around the same time and curlers were installed making my sisters appear scarily twin like. Lu had made a wedding preparations song list which included some of the cheesiest ‘90s hits ever (Bewitched, remember them?!) and the day really got underway. My mum bought with her the bouquets which I had been worrying about (I don’t really like not having a run through!) but I needn’t have been worried – they were absolutely gorgeous. I then looped into mine my gran’s ring for my “something old” and pinned in the donor family network pin in memory of the special person who had allowed me to be here today.

My hairdresser arrived at 11 which was a blessing as it forced me to sit still for 2 hours! She was amazing and so meticulous. Whilst she was working, Lu did my make up and I commented positively on it every now and then despite having no glasses on so not actually being able to see a thing! When I did finally get to peer close up into the mirror though it really did look gorgeous and I was thrilled with the result. My mummy would intermittently race into the room with a plate of food chirping merrily and updating me on proceedings. A's sister arrived (third bridesmaid) to have her hair done too and mine was finally finished so I went into the lounge with tiara and veil firmly pinned still in dressing gown to be met with a round of applause.

I sat and drank some tea and nibbled some sandwiches before my mother informed me it was time to put the dress on. The photographer arrived and we had the traditional “lacing the dress” shots but he was very good at being seemingly not present and just snapping events as they occurred. Bridesmaids also now in their stunning floor length wine red dresses joined me and we went out onto the patio for more photos.

My daddy and granddad (who is 91 and my hero) then arrived and it was hugs and kisses all round. We walked out the front to be greeted by various neighbours, including lots of very over excited young girls pointing and shouting “there she is!!” which made me feel like a celebrity! We were standing waiting for my uncle to arrive (he was to drive me there in his car) when suddenly my sister pointed exclaiming “look!” and this stunning £160 000 Bentley pulled up on the drive (in the correct wine red colour) and my uncle who had hired it without me knowing stepped out proudly wearing a proper drivers hat. I was speechless, the car was just gorgeous and such a surprise!

We got in and my daddy held my hand tightly all the way there. By this time the butterflies were really beginning to hit and the enormity of the day was sinking in. A year ago I had been lying in a bed with an oxygen mask, unable to speak full sentences with H2B doing pretty much everything for me, and now I was about to walk down the aisle. Last year I had been in talks with the doctors about how to deal with the very last stages and how I would be made “comfortable” at the end, and now I was in this gorgeous dress, heading to say “I do” to the man of my dreams. Suddenly I knew all my confident statements of “I won’t cry I’ll be fine” were going to be complete lies.

We pulled up to people waving and cheering (who had come specially to watch me arrive) and my daddy helped me out of the car, bridesmaids following from the car behind shortly after. After a few photos I walked in to speak to the registrar and confirm all the official bits, then it was time to take my daddy’s arm and walk towards the main Barn, where I would say my vows and begin the day I had always dreamed of.

To be continued – this is far too long and I don’t know about you lot but I need a coffee!

I'M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!!


YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!

I had my final dress trial yesterday.

I donned the entire outfit, and walked through to the lounge. Tears escaped almost immediately; this does not bode well for not crying on the day.

Am rather pleased with the final look. I would post a picture...but I'm not going to.

Counting down the days, and soon the hours! Have a rather strong suspicion that I will soon be so over excited that my mother will have to resort to tactics she used to employ when I was five and would get too over excited about a birthday party/christmas, develop flushed cheeks and a temperature, and promptly be sent to bed to have a sleep till I had calmed down a bit.

An awful lot of smiling going on in this house. I can't wait for the day itself, I just don't want this all to be over.

And the countdown continues....

And the closer I get the faster it seems to go! I am just completely over excited now, especially as we are now in single digits.

Every little element of the wedding reminds me how incredibly lucky I am to be doing all this. It's just a lifetime away from where I was last year.

I am pretty tired, completely rushed off my feet, still have a thousand things to do, and am absolutely loving it. My grin is beginning to hurt my face.

Very very smiley. Very very lucky. Very very over excited and can now bounce around to demonstrate such feelings as opposed to wiggling in my chair which used to be my method.

In other news....no I don't think there is any. Wedding appears to have consumed my life. I am assuming that is relatively normal at this stage. Off to grin some more now.

How fast time flies...

So this weekend was my hen weekend, which had crept up on me incredibly quickly. Spearheaded by Lucy, my girlies had been plotting for some time and all I knew was that I was to keep this weekend free.

On Friday night I arrived at my sisters to get ready, clutching a bag overflowing with a variety of outfits (well if I didn’t know where we were going I should buy an outfit for every occasion – it seemed logical.) As we were getting ready Lu and Abby handed me gifts every now and then; a pink and sparkly disposable camera (HA no digital evidence of shame I thought, how naïve…) a flashing Bride-to-be badge, a tiara and veil and a wand with Bride in pink sparkly lettering. For the first time since all the planning and preparation began I suddenly actually felt like a real person about to get married, not just like I am planning for an event for either way into the future or for someone else.

We headed to a nearby town to meet some girls for drinks, and the plan was to continue on to a nightclub to dance the night away. Hen nights are supposed to be kept between the ladies so no I shall not be sharing all the details. I had an awesome evening but without going into too much detail I learned two very valuable lessons; 1) since my transplant I have not learned how to take my drink. 2) Shots still make me rather ill and 3) The toilets are not in fact located in the pub kitchen.

Saturday morning I woke up in a surprisingly bouncy mood, and we headed down for breakfast and cups of tea, at which point Lu let slip again that we were heading for a salsa lesson that night! We lounged around in our PJs, before I headed home for a quick shower to feel somewhat more human. On arriving back at my parents’ our “plastic cousin” (so called because she’s practically a cousin; we grew up together) arrived and we all sat down to watch some rather embarrassing videos of us cavorting around aged five in big frilly dresses (hers had more pink bows on than mine, I remember being very jealous). We started getting ready and set off on the train up to London (veil firmly on head again).

Our instructor was great fun, and we took it in turns spinning/gliding/stumbling round the room with him. After a fairly exhausting lesson we sat down for much needed tapas and more jugs of sangria and pina coladas (most of my drinks sans alcohol feeling still a tad queasy from the night before). At this point I shall go a little fuzzy on the details again suffice to say several dares including dancing on the bar and serenading some poor bewildered soul on my knees were carried out throughout the rest of the evening. We continued chatting and dancing till it was time to get the train home, and talked loudly all the way back.

This morning my father excelled himself when he cooked a spectacular breakfast for 15 hungry and somewhat hung-over women, who all wedged into our dining room and munched away, silent for the first time all weekend. More embarrassing photos and videos were produced (thanks girls) and tea and pain au chocolat with lots of reminiscing of school days finished the weekend off. I am now back home pretty tired but with a huge grin on my face; a spectacular weekend thanks to the most amazing girls. I dread to think of the various photos that are going to appear and think I may have to run away and change my name if my girls aren’t kind to me and delete the most dreadful ones. Most of their parting shots were “see you at the wedding!” which was a tad scary; really not long to go now...

A tiny bit of wedding talk now! (Sorry I know there's a lot of people itching to know all the details but I am keeping it quiet, first time for everything...)

Anyway. Many of you may well remember this post here which was coordinated by two special people, namely Emmie and Rose. Anyway they set up "Emily's fund" to ensure lovely kind gifts and gestures went to a safe place for when I was well enough to spend it. People were amazingly generous and lets just say I had a significant amount of dream-making funds provided.

I kept it all safely stowed away as I wanted to spend it on something really special...and I thought you would like to know that I have now spent that money! I have bought the wedding dress of my dreams.

And no it does not look like this.


So each and every person that contributed, please feel safe in the knowledge that you are helping me achieve a dream which I was beginning to think was not possible, and a bit of you will be there on my special day (er our special day Em, do try to remember to include the groom at points...)

Thank you so much, all of you. For everything over the years. There is no real way to repay you all for your thoughts, wishes, cards and presents except to try and demonstrate just how well I am utilising my new found lease of life, and to remember to savour it as it truly is a gift.

We have had a busy week campaign wise – a young girl called Jessica who contacted us requesting to help has had her story picked up by several Media outlets, including her local BBC news and the Sun newspaper. If you click on the BBC article link and look on the right hand side of the page, you can view Jessica's interview online. I was interviewed as the expert opinion (not my own label, I suggested UKT but they said they wanted someone from our campaign) and Jess and her mum were interviewed, putting across a thoroughly powerful and emotive message. I believe that it is only through real life stories that we can really motivate people to understand the importance of organ donation. Emmie and myself are continuously grateful to those who come forward to share their stories, and hopefully save some lives by doing so.

Last night I gave a talk at the 41 club – a club for ex Round Tablers. They were a lovely group and it went really well, with all members taking at least one donor registration leaflet afterwards, and many taking several for friends and family as well. I have had two further requests stemming from this talk, so hope to increase my reputation as a guest speaker and continue to spread the word in this way. I think I am lucky that I do not mind (in fact enjoy) talking about my situation and therefore should use it to help others have the same chance as me.

Surprisingly (well I found it surprising) there seemed to be quite a few requests to learn a little more about the mysterious ‘A’ (you romantic lot you). Unlike me, (a born drama queen who enjoys spilling her life to anyone and everyone and could talk for Britain) A is a far more reserved and private person, therefore for his sake I would like to be vague about…well pretty much everything really.

I have known A for many years. We have grown up together as people, and the obstacles we have encountered throughout our relationship have just strengthened us I think. People think I am brave to have gone through the past year or so, but I had no choice. He could have walked away but never ever did.

Monday marked our anniversary. On Monday evening, on our way to a restaurant in London, A got down on one knee and proposed. I may have cried... A lot.

I am the happiest girl in the world right now. I cannot believe my luck so far this year, I am spoilt beyond comprehension and keep thinking that this is all a bit of a dream and I will wake up with a sharp jolt back to reality. A has always been there for me, he has been my rock, and now I get to spend the rest of my life trying to make him as happy as he has made me.