I went to a wedding at the weekend. Very interesting experience as the last wedding I went to I was (quite literally I suppose) on death’s door and so to have a comparison like that is cause for great contemplation.
This year I got up, got ready, tried to curl my hair, phoned Abby with a rushed “icantgetmyhairtogonicecomeroundnowplease” instruction. After excessive curling, I finished getting ready, jumped in the car with A, and off we set. Last year, I awoke on the High Dependency unit, my team came round and gave me a thorough examination to ensure I was stable enough to leave the hospital grounds. I had two Xrays, one first thing and one just before I went. My mum and Lucy came to get me ready as I didn’t have the puff to put my own clothes on. Then I was gently helped into my wheelchair with high flow oxygen blowing through a mask, I was carefully loaded into the car with blankets and pillows cushioning my rather skinny body.
This year we walked up the little pathway and sat in the church awaiting the arrival of the Bride. We chatted quietly amongst ourselves, admired the décor and stood nicely with everyone else as the deep organ chord announced the arrival of the bride. Last year, 4 ushers lifted my wheelchair (mind you that was not an unpleasant experience) and I was carefully maneuvered into place at the back of the church so I could get out easily if there was any problems, and I sat with A, who stroked my back trying to ease its ache, trying not to panic from the difficulty to get air into my lungs.
Both weddings were beautiful, but this year I was able to enjoy it more, able to participate fully, to dance and join in the celebrations. And it is all thanks to the decision of a family I do not know and a stranger I will never meet. It was so lovely to see all the festivities and goings on as well and know that this is actually going to happen for me too, going to be something I experience, and I suspect something I will never forget. Said wedding was also the first ever time I have been able to dance to every song A’s band played. Ever ever ever.
It’s so strange that nearly 7 months on and I am still experiencing so many firsts. Each one is magical and makes me grin from ear to ear. My dancing at the weekend was again not elegant or refined, in fact a great deal of hopping, jumping and spinning was involved as I am still relishing in the fact I can do all three. I am planning to have a quiet week; still not quite able to gage my own energy levels and managing to wipe self out a bit by getting too over excited. Mind you some things never change...
The C Word
5 days ago